Age: 30
Relationship Status: Single…by choice :)
Occupation: Life Coach/ Author / Founder of TLD HER
Income: Varies depending on how many clients I have at any given time & how many books I sell
Astrological Sign: Scorpio Sun (Venus & Mercury), Aquarius Moon, Aries Rising
What is your first thought every morning?
I would be a different person if I slept well.
What is something you do solely for you?
My mornings are solely for me. I need quiet coffee time and to be able to be with my own thoughts before I start interacting with others. I also get regular pedicures (with 20 minutes of extra foot massage) and turn my phone off/close my eyes the entire time. It is my nirvana.
What is something you dread?
On a macro level, I dread the next few months of political conversation – it genuinely makes me feel differently about people (even ones I love) to hear about how they are more concerned about tax breaks than human rights. I try hard not to engage, but at some point, I feel like the conversation is worth having. I have great hope for November, however, and I feel like my faith in humanity has been slightly restored over the last few weeks.
On a micro level, I have to get a new license this fall and am really dreading the whole process and the DMV visit.
What is something you are looking forward to?
I look forward to my birthday every year – it acts as both a period of reflection and a fresh start for me. I also have a few concerts lined up that I am excited about, the birth of a new niece or nephew this winter, and two destination weddings in 2025 with all of my best friends.
When do you feel most accomplished?
I feel most accomplished when I get off the phone with a client or when I see an idea come to fruition. I care much less about the actual outcome or how my work is perceived than I do about getting it out of my system and into the world. I guess I feel most accomplished when I am being authentic to myself and my work.
What is something you regret investing in financially?
The couch I’m currently sitting on – it’s a very long story, but a word to the wise: do not buy a white, bouclé piece of furniture.
What is something you regret investing in emotionally?
Any argument/ discussion with someone who was committed to misunderstanding me or who I was trying to change.
What are three things you think are absolutely worth the investment?
(financially, emotionally, or time/energy-wise)
A Life Coach! I worked with my coach for almost eight years; she was my greatest support system/motivation/confidant in my 20s. She is also why I wanted to become a coach and had the confidence to do so. I have gotten my money’s worth 10x over because, ultimately, it was an investment in myself.
Reading. I have learned almost everything I know from the books that I've read over the years.
The Bearaby weighted blanket – it is amazing; stress relieving but also breathable.
Adding a 4th because I genuinely feel so much more joyful when there are fresh flowers in my house. No surprise here, but living things breathe life into your home.
Adding a 5th because I have also NEVER regretted spending money on going to a concert. Live music literally heals a part of me, and being surrounded by people who feel the same way is a soul-changing experience.
When do you feel most creative?
When I have more than 48 hours of alone time/time to let my ideas marinate. As a writer and someone who is constantly creating, I need time and space to brainstorm, daydream, and visualize. My best ideas often find me in random moments after I have had time to ‘putter’ – i.e. TLD HER: 20 Questions. The concept and the first 20 questions popped into my head while I was trying to fall asleep one Saturday night after days of asking myself questions about my own life and what I wanted to do with it.
I also get major creative downloads in the shower. When I wrote my first workbook during the pandemic, I would sometimes take 2-3 showers a day to get my brain going.
How often do you compare yourself to others? When?
Right now, I compare myself to others more often than I ever have, because I am in such a different phase of life than almost everyone around me. I have chosen a very different path than most people I know; I dropped out of college, I have put every ounce of my energy into my career and building my business, and I have chosen not to get married or have children. I often find myself looking around and unable to relate, not necessarily in a negative way and definitely not in an envious way. Still, I am much more aware now that I am different and that people probably perceive my decisions as unusual and even, confusing.
What is one thing you’d like to say to your past self?
That she can relax. I spent my teen years and early 20s, chasing perfection and hustling to the point of burnout. I wish I had slowed down when I could and had been a bit less serious.
What is one thing you’d like to say to your future self?
I’m proud of her for living the life she has always wanted and being completely authentic, even when it was unpopular.
What is one thing you learned in childhood that you have now had to unlearn in adulthood?
So many things. Religion is a social construct and is not a reason to feel overwhelming guilt and shame. In fact, guilt and shame are not inherent…but confidence is. Rest is not weakness, therapy is good, and asking for help is necessary. Empathy is a superpower; emotional unavailability is not cool or sexy, and the silent treatment is no way to handle conflict. Your body does not need constant tweaking, your brain does not need constant fixing, and your emotions do not need constant suppressing…to name a few.
Have you ever felt pure joy? When?
I feel pure joy all the time. I also feel many other things. The key to enjoying my life has been leaning into the joy when it arrives and accepting everything else in between. It’s all necessary and while no one feeling is superior, all are fleeting (for better or worse).
What is something that would feel really good to get off your chest?
I often feel like the people closest to me don’t ask me any questions about myself or have any real interest in my life. I know everyone is busy and has their own lives to worry about, but I sometimes walk away from interactions feeling like I gave a lot and got little back.
I also have been really disappointed by many of the men in my life and their stance on things like abortion, women's rights, healthcare, etc. it has really made me feel like even the men who ‘love me’ don’t have my best interest or care about very real things that might happen as a result of who we vote for next.
Lastly, if you don’t like New York, you don’t have to live here…you also don’t have to tell me that you ‘could never’ and why you think the city has gotten so unsafe.
How do your feelings about your physical appearance affect your everyday life (negative or positive)?
I actually really like my body right now, until I think about public perception. I feel like everyone is obsessed with ‘skinny’ right now and that is so not me, nor is it something I desire (I have always loved having big boobs and a butt). I also grew up in a very body-conscious family, who are hyper-critical, so I naturally assume that everyone else is as critical. Logically, I know they are not, but that stays with me emotionally.
What is one interaction that changed your life?
When I first dropped out of college, I was sitting with a group of family members and two of my uncles proceeded to tell me what a huge mistake I was making. It was unsolicited, and I ended up in tears. At that moment, I decided to choose myself and not take advice from people whose lives I didn’t admire or desire. It was a negative experience, and it could have made me question everything, but instead, it made me even more sure of myself and my future. We all know what is best for ourselves.
What is something you want to give up?
Drinking! Ugh, I feel like I have been cocktailing, wining, and dining all summer long. I’m over it – my body and mind need a break – but it’s hard; so many of my social interactions revolve around eating good food and enjoying great drinks.
What is something you want to take up?
A creative/artistic hobby. I think this fall, I want to take some pottery or painting classes – I feel like I need somewhere to go and something to do with my hands.
What do you believe is a universal truth?
Help when you can. Whether it’s giving a dollar, holding the door, or taking the time to listen to someone’s story, do it. If we have the time, energy, or resources to help someone else, I believe we should.
BONUS: Tell me something good.
Facilitating this project has been one of my favorite and most fulfilling things I've ever done. Thank you all for being here – I love you!
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