Age: 24
Relationship Status: Single
Occupation: Personal Trainer
Income: Usually around 50-60k
Astrological Sign: Pisces Sun, Cancer Moon, Leo Rising
What is your first thought every morning?
Usually something to do with my cat, who so graciously wakes me up every morning. All good things, of course (unless she gets me up before 6).
What is something you do solely for you?
I never save anything for a special occasion. I love wearing my favorite outfits and expensive perfume to the grocery store. I don't wait to use up my fancy shampoo and face masks. It seems silly to me to keep yourself from the littlest things in life that make you happy.
What is something you dread?
My birthday. The day feels like an annual gut-wrenching reminder of how much life has changed. As a kid, my family put so much effort into making us feel loved and special on our birthdays. For most of my adult years, I've sat by the phone, waiting for any one of them to call. Getting friends to come to a birthday dinner starts to feel like more trouble than it's worth. As I get older, life gets busier, and priorities change. I get it. I just wish I wasn't always at the bottom of other people’s lists. One year, it won't bother me. But for now, I still ache for the feeling I had when I turned seven and was so full of love I didn't know what loneliness was.
What is something you are looking forward to?
I can't wait for the day when I feel at home. I travel and move a lot, which I don't regret one bit. Still, I dream of the day when I finally put down roots and create a life that's worth staying for.
When do you feel most accomplished?
When I talk to my grandparents. I try on jobs and cities like they’re outfits, and when I’m in between lives, I’ll find my way back to my grandparents. They have become my biggest fans and always make sure to remind me just how proud they are of everything I have done. I tend to minimize my successes and having them in my corner has truly made all the difference in my life.
What is something you regret investing in financially?
Ok I know I needed it, but god, getting a new MacBook HAUNTED me for so long. I replaced the one I had in college thinking I’d need it for work. I virtually only use it to play Sims and stare at my budget sheet in fear.
What is something you regret investing in emotionally?
Honestly, no one yet. Bear with me here. I have my fair share of ex-boyfriends and ex-best friends but (I'm totally gonna eat my words later) they all were so important to me at one point in my life that I don't think I would take it back. Sure, I hope some of them break every zipper they own and hit every red light when they're in a rush. But I don't know who I would have become without those people.
What are three things you think are absolutely worth the investment?
(financially, emotionally, or time/energy-wise)
HEALTHCARE. Listen, I know it's expensive, and insurance makes ZERO sense! This is coming from someone who cries every time I have to pay my eye doctor. But go get an annual check-up. I'm talking about the dermatologist, gyno, dentist, the works. Talk about your concerns shamelessly! I know it's daunting, but it’s always better to catch up and keep track of concerns when you're young. I am on my hands and knees, begging you to start taking your health seriously!!
Relationships! As you get older, please please please take the time to nurture your friendships and relationships with family and loved ones. I do not know a single person my age who hasn't complained about how lonely adulthood is. Having people you know you can count on makes such a difference in your life.
Become financially literate! Learn how to budget, learn about credit cards (do NOT go into insane credit card debt, it is not worth whatever random online purchase you want to make), and start a proper savings account. Money, unfortunately, does control your life, so get ahead of it as soon as you can so you don’t back yourself into a corner one day.
When do you feel most creative?
I used to be a nanny, and when I hung out with the kids it was the only time my creativity struck. As a kid, I was so creative and imaginative, and I think I'm just too self-aware now. It's for the best though, my sister and my version of creative was using the headrests in the car as weapons for our self-guided WWE matches, so that would not have translated well in the adult world.
How often do you compare yourself to others? When?
Ugh, a couple of years ago, I could confidently say never, but now it's more than I’d like to admit. It's hard sometimes not to feel a little insignificant in a room full of peers who are becoming doctors and lawyers and following such specific life paths with tangible milestones. They want to climb the corporate ladder; I want to sail across the sea. So clearly, we are living very different lives. But in the words of Meg March, just because my dreams are different from theirs doesn't mean they're unimportant.
What is one thing you’d like to thank your past self for?
I’m glad I busted my ass in school. I don't know if I was proving it to myself or everyone else, but I was such an overachiever, and thank god for that. I graduated with honors and job offers and published articles under my belt. To everyone else’s horror, I threw it all away to travel and chase new dreams. But if my parents are right, if one day I completely regret everything, I know I could jump right back into that life. I’m glad that I worked so god awfully hard for so long so I don't have to now.
What is one thing you believe about your future self?
She’ll be happy.
What is one thing you learned in childhood that you have now had to unlearn in adulthood?
I’m much more selfish now. From a pretty young age, I was given such inappropriate responsibilities and expectations compared to those of my siblings. As much as I love my family, it was not (and is not) my job to parent everyone. It was hard to set those boundaries and stop carrying that weight on my shoulders. I put myself first now, and there is a lot of resentment because of that, but they’ll get over it.
Have you ever felt pure joy? When?
When I talk to my sister. When my cat takes a nap on me. In the middle of the ocean, when there’s nothing but sea on the horizon. At night, when the stars are so bright, they light up the whole sky. In the morning, when the moon is still out. On cold days, when you can feel the sun warming your skin. When I'm out dancing with my friends. When I’m driving, and the perfect song comes on the radio. When someone makes me laugh so hard, my stomach hurts. I could fill a book with every moment that’s made me feel so happy that nothing else mattered.
What is something that would feel really good to get off your chest?
Hate to say it but I am YEARNING for a cute little relationship. Up until now, I’ve been a serial casual dater, but I would love to be in love, sue me!
When do you feel most in your feminine energy?
Bear with me here. My friends and I like to schedule our first dates together (without the guys knowing), so we’d get ready together, frantically swapping outfits, touching up makeup, and shuffling through songs to get us hyped up. Once we were out, we’d meet up in the bathroom to check in and discuss whether we’d invite our guys out with us afterward. It might sound insane, but whether or not those dates bombed, we knew we’d still have fun. And really what's a girl to do but be hot and have fun?
What is one interaction that changed your life?
When I was in college I worked as a nanny for this super wealthy family. They had such a beautiful life that some people could only dream of. And it wasn’t surface level; the parents had a great relationship and successful job, and the kids were so incredibly cool and well-rounded. And despite all of that, I wasn’t even remotely envious of their life. They had everything you could dream of, and I didn't want it. I always knew that life wasn’t for me, but a part of me thought that maybe I’d want it if I saw how good it could be. And yet, there wasn’t an ounce of longing for their lives. It was the final confirmation I needed, I think, that I was making the right choice, abandoning that future my family wanted for me.
What is something you want to give up?
Comparing myself to others.
What is something you want to take up?
Everything. Right now, I want to learn how to sail and scuba dive.
What do you believe is a universal truth?
Oh, this is going to be so cheesy, but if you’ve ever seen the Look Both Ways movie, that’s what I’m getting at. I think we can make a million different choices and live such vastly different lives with each one of them, but in the end we’ll end up where we’re meant to. That goes to say, I think you have to actively work towards your goals and dreams, but there is no one path to do so.
BONUS: Tell me something good.
Nothing is that serious! Embarrass yourself, make mistakes, and be a little messy! Who cares? Stop taking yourself so seriously; I’d rather people think I’m a little unhinged than boring.
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