Age: 26
Relationship Status: Medium Distance Relationship (he lives 3 hours away!)
Occupation: PhD Student in Psychology
Income: ~25K
Astrological Sign: Scorpio Sun, Libra Moon, Sagittarius Rising.
What is your first thought every morning?
My mental to-do list for the day. None of my days look the same, so it’s important to me that I keep myself very organized regarding what I have going on for the day. I use Outlook calendars, my iPhone, a physical planner (for assignments), and a whiteboard calendar above my desk.
Bonus: the countdown to how long until I get to see my boyfriend again <3
What is something you do solely for you?
My education. Deciding to get my PhD was a huge accomplishment of mine. I am a first-generation college student, so graduating with my bachelor's was already a goal of mine. When I decided to go further, I had to put aside a lot of fears and the realization that I will be in school until I am 29/30. Seeing those around me get married, buy a home, and have a stable, live-able income is hard on me, especially when all my friends and family are a state away. I miss them dearly, but I have never regretted my decision to invest my time and energy into my passion and future. Grad Student motto: suffer now to thrive later!
What is something you dread?
Waking up early! Even from a young age, I have always been a ‘good sleeper,’ and I feel like I cannot function unless I have at least 8-9+ hours of sleep a night. However, it does make my mornings feel unproductive most days.
What is something you are looking forward to?
My 30s! I can’t wait to have a job in psychology, get married, and have a family. My 20s have been a whirlwind of emotions and lessons I have learned the hard way. It’s been so fun, but I can’t wait to have a boring, happy little life.
When do you feel most accomplished?
Talking to people about my research, bonus points if they are not in academia. Sometimes, as a PhD student, you forget how cool the amazing things you get to do are. Also, when professors and clinicians come to me for advice about my niche area of research.
What is something you regret investing in financially?
My couch! Hear me out; I love it but do not use it often enough. I think I would’ve been just as happy with a thrifted or second-hand one.
What is something you regret investing in emotionally?
Most of the men I dated in my early 20s. I wish I had spent more time with my friends and not worried if a boy liked me or tried to act all ‘cool girl’ for them.
What are three things you think are absolutely worth the investment?
(financially, emotionally, or time/energy-wise)
Therapy: it’s actually crazy that I didn’t start going to a therapist until I was in grad school. She has completely changed how I work through my problems now. However, make sure your therapist's and your ideals line up. They are professionals, but they are also humans too. It is okay not to like your therapist and find a new one.
A Nespresso Machine. If you are a coffee lover, so worth the investment into one. You can even get reusable pods to use your favorite coffee/espresso from the store!
If you live in a city with good public transportation, learn how to use it! I take the city bus every time I go to campus (unless I am running late), and it has saved me so much money in parking fees.
When do you feel most creative?
Weirdly, gift-giving! I love giving my friends and loved ones gifts that are perfectly curated for them. The ‘Ah-Ha’ moment of finding something perfect for a gift makes me feel creative.
How often do you compare yourself to others? When?
All the time, honestly. Social media, my education, my relationships, and even my habits. I tend to have these moments where I say, “If I could just be like X, my life would be better.” These feelings don’t last very long, though, and thankfully (since my frontal cortex has fully developed), I can be grateful for the life I do lead and remind myself others probably compare themselves to me as well.
What is one thing you’d like to thank your past self for?
Being resilient in the face of adversity and always having an optimistic outlook on life. I think these so-called ‘protective factors’ have allowed me to live a happy life! Along with this, learning how to fix things myself. I think part of being a broke college student for 6 years has taught me how to do things rather than paying someone to fix them. I just replaced a fuse in my car a few weeks ago, and it only cost a couple of bucks and a few minutes on YouTube.
What is one thing you believe about your future self?
I am going to be a great mother.
What is one thing you learned in childhood that you have now had to unlearn in adulthood?
People pleasing. When I was a child, I always felt that I had to be the ‘glue’ that held people together. Saying no is liberating for me and has allowed me to set boundaries in my relationships.
Have you ever felt pure joy? When?
With my best friends in college. We used to wake up after a night out, and all gather in our kitchen at a table that was on the verge of collapsing for three years and share funny stories from the previous night, all while being so blissfully unaware that these were some of the fondest memories we would be looking back at.
What is something that would feel really good to get off your chest?
Once, in 3rd grade, I stole a Littlest Pet Shop figurine from my classroom bully when everyone was outside at recess. I think I still have it somewhere in my childhood bedroom, too.
When do you feel most in your feminine energy?
The elusive everything shower + getting ready for a night out with my girlfriends. Nothing beats the 1.5 hours of listening to my favorite music with a little drink while my friends pile into my room to see what everyone is wearing. Being a boy must be so boring.
What is one interaction that changed your life?
My junior year psychology professor. I was originally a nursing major and had been rejected from the program because my GPA wasn’t high enough (it was a 3.5); I thought I had done everything right, but I felt so lost and like I wasn’t good enough to be in the profession. I took one last semester to apply again, but I had a few slots to fill for classes during this time, so I took Abnormal Psychology. I went into my professor’s office hours one day to talk about a paper I had been writing, and during our conversation, she asked what my major was. I said nursing, but I wasn’t sure about it anymore. She said to me, “I think you would make a great psychologist”. So, I told myself I would apply one more time for the program, and if I didn’t get in, it would be a sign to pursue psychology. Here I am, two years into my PhD program, and I think about her and our conversations all the time.
What is something you want to give up?
Being a lazy cooker! Right now, if it takes more than 10-minutes to make, I have a hard time doing it. In my defense, it's hard to cook for one person. Especially as I am someone who doesn’t like to eat the same thing every day (tried meal prepping once), I tend to find easy and quick meals to make most nights, but I think I would really enjoy spending time making a delicious dinner a few nights a week.
What is something you want to take up?
More sunrise yoga! I actually went to my first class this morning (RE: my inability to wake up early) and had such a wonderful 45 minutes of soaking in the chilly late summer morning with some of my grad school friends.
What do you believe is a universal truth?
Everything happens for a reason! 444!
BONUS: Tell me something good.
Practicing gratitude regularly can lead to improved mental health, better sleep, and increased resilience. Expressing gratitude activates brain areas associated with reward and strengthens feelings of happiness.
Source: Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377–389.
Comentarios