Age: 27
Relationship Status: Single
Occupation: Human Resources
Astrological Sign: Taurus sun, Capricorn Moon, Libra Rising
What is your first thought every morning?
“Time to get to work!”
What is something you do solely for you?
My maintenance routine. It encompasses doing daily face care, daily hygiene, shaving every week, hair appointments every 3-4 months (either for dying my hair, toner or doing a hair botox - I’m really into hair care these days), nails every 4 weeks and facial every 3-6 months (depending on budget and time). I truly feel my best when I maintain a good self-care routine. When I receive a higher salary, I plan on incorporating more maintenance-style massages.
What is something you dread?
I really like my job but there’s a certain part of it I really dread. I feel like it takes away time from other projects and skills I would rather develop for my career.
Also, meal prepping, but I’ve learned to make it fun by posting my meals on Instagram.
What is something you are looking forward to?
Recently I signed up for sewing and DJ classes. I’m really looking forward to sewing because I feel it’s a good life skill and my grandmother used to be a seamstress, which will make me feel closer to her. I’m also excited about the DJ classes because I am an avid house music listener and sometimes, I dream about being on the big stage and moving people through such great music. Although I’ve never really been artistically blessed, so let’s see how it goes.
When do you feel most accomplished?
I feel sad answering this question because I don’t feel I’ve accomplished much. When I think of accomplishments, I think of something big - like quitting your day job to open a business or chase a dream, moving to another city and starting over again, or being financially independent. The only time I truly remember feeling accomplished was when I finished my bachelor’s degree.
I think I compare my life to other people, so maybe that’s why I haven’t really given thought on my own accomplishments. When I think about it - just being able to breathe and wanting to live is a pretty big accomplishment - right?
What is something you regret investing in financially?
Recently, I bought my first used car. Financially, I know it will be a good decision if I hold on to it for 7-8 years, but lately, I’ve been having these thoughts that maybe it wasn’t the best because what if I magically find my husband, have kids, and need a better car? However, I also know a car is a depreciating asset, so I didn’t want to spend more than 10% of my monthly income on a lease; right now, the lease amounts are pretty crazy where I live.
I guess I need to find the husband first before I start really thinking about it (lol).
What is something you regret investing in emotionally?
Trying to understand other people - I feel like I am a very understanding person and I come up with a reason for someone when they act a certain way, even if their action(s) has(ve) hurt me.
Secondly, I had always longed to find a “best friend.” I thought I had one back when I was younger, but I ultimately made the decision to cut her out of my life. I had invested so much emotion into making sure she was happy and pouring into the relationship, thinking she would be my sister. Little did I know that she wasn’t a best friend, nor a sister, but rather just someone who would use me since I always did what she wanted. It took a lot of courage to step up for myself and stop speaking to her. It’s been 6 years since we last spoke. I heard she has changed, but I’m not willing to reach out as I have already developed stronger relationships with other friends of mine.
Ultimately, I have learned to be my own best friend, even if that reality still hurts from time to time. I love my female friendships, but some days, I find I think differently than most of them, which is why I think I am my own best friend. If I need to pinpoint anybody else, it would definitely be my mom.
What are three things you think are absolutely worth the investment?
(financially, emotionally, or time/energy-wise)
Living in another country in your 20s. I did an exchange abroad, and I really felt like I was able to discover another side of myself - almost as if I had discovered a completely different person. It also allowed me to get out of my comfort zone and meet people from different backgrounds. If living abroad isn’t feasible, I recommend traveling in your 20s.
Making your bed. I feel like I sleep better when I make my bed.
Therapy.
When do you feel most creative?
This is hard to answer because I don’t feel like I am a creative person. However, I really want to be. That is partially the reason why I signed up for DJ classes. For some reason, I identify creativity with some artistic skill, like painting, music, or dancing. But now that I think about it some more…maybe that’s a very limited way to think about what it means to be creative. This past Valentine’s Day, I hosted a Galentine’s dinner, which was a pretty good success in terms of decorations and food placements. That made me feel pretty creative.
How often do you compare yourself to others? When?
I think I compare myself only when I’m on social media. Especially when I scroll on TikTok or on Instagram. Like how is a woman my age able to travel and work remotely, while I am in an office job? I think to myself, I must be doing something wrong. Like, should I also be quitting my corporate job and starting some kind of business (news flash, I have no idea for one)? Or, more recently, how is it that half my Instagram feed is full of proposals?
I feel like when I’m not on social media, I don’t think about comparing myself to others. Not in the slightest.
What is one thing you’d like to thank your past self for?
I want to thank her for being an absolute party girl from her mid-teens to mid-twenties (25 to be exact). Not only because hangovers weren’t so bad during those days but because it really showed me how binge drinking can negatively impact your health. I’m not sure why, but my party era made me understand the value of taking care of your body.
I also made a couple of silly and naive mistakes when it came to dating men during these years, and now I know better about men's intentions.
What is one thing you believe about your future self?
I have this innate feeling that I am meant for a great life. It’s a weird feeling, but I feel it in my bones. I know that, presently, I am trying to live as intentionally as possible, which will make for a great future.
What is one thing you learned in childhood that you have now had to unlearn in adulthood?
My mother always said “suck it up” when I was younger. She told me it would make me stronger. In a certain way, she was right. I think it helped me build resilience - but I also think this teaching taught me to be very guarded with my emotions. In fact, when I meet a guy I actually like, sometimes I just feel like I hit a wall at some point because I just keep things to myself (aka, I suck it up and move on). When I do this, I actually hide my emotions and true feelings behind a wall - which makes me almost unable to be vulnerable.
I have recently realized that being vulnerable is a fundamental element to building a loving relationship, but even if I logically know this, I have difficulty applying it. I’m working on it. Funny enough, my mom has also noticed I have a problem with vulnerability. I jokingly told her it was kind of her fault.
Have you ever felt pure joy? When?
Yes, I recently saw Dom Dolla live at a concert, and I felt so much joy seeing him by having house music pumped into my ears.
Anything related to house music, I feel pure joy.
What is something that would feel really good to get off your chest?
Lately, I have consumed a lot of “hard truths about men” content on TikTok. Although some of it is fundamentally true (like how men DO want to get into your pants before they even know you fully), I feel it has seriously clouded my ability to date - or even be interested in finding a partner. One female content creator said that men don’t have the ability to love; they are taught how to love. Or how men don’t actually respect women; they actually only respect other men.
Some of these things may be true , but some are just too depressing…I feel my brain is all scrambled up.
Also, I have never fully realized how living in a patriarchy damages us women. The world benefits from women’s shame, and too many women rely on male validation. The issue is - how can I balance wanting a partner if I crave less and less male validation? I’m finding it hard to navigate this and it makes me feel angry.
When do you feel most in your feminine energy?
When I have a bouquet of flowers, when I wear pink or green (preferably a dress) and high heels. I kind of like to dress and feel like an angel. I like to dress up more in my light feminine energy, but I believe I identify more with dark feminine energy in terms of my thoughts.
What is one interaction that changed your life?
When I did my first internship, I was getting feedback from one of the Senior Directors. She and I got along very well. She gave me this one valuable piece of advice: always be resourceful. Especially in the corporate world. If you don’t know the answer to something, go seek an answer instead of doing nothing about it.
I think her advice changed the way I view work and can be applied to other areas of my life. She was indirectly saying to be independent and always find your way.
What is something you want to give up?
To stop being hard on myself.
My therapist says I need to give myself more grace. I also think I need to trust God’s / the universe’s timing.
What is something you want to take up?
Sewing and DJing, so props to me for taking action and starting soon!
What do you believe is a universal truth?
You cannot control other people’s thoughts or behaviors. Only your own.
Which is why you shouldn’t take things too personally.
BONUS: Tell me something good.
I’m going to New York city soon and it’s one of my favorite places in the world! Can’t wait to be in the Big Apple again.
Comments