Age: 31
Relationship Status: Single
Occupation: Self-Development Coach, Author & Founder of TLD HER
Income: depends on how many clients I have & how many books I sell each month
Astrological Sign: Scorpio Sun (mercury & venus), Aquarius Moon, Aries Rising
What is the most important part of your daily routine?
My morning coffee, I savor it. I like to work out early, but I need a slow start to the day, so I get up pretty early and sit on my couch with a huge glass of water, drink my first cup of coffee, play the NYT games, and feel grateful for my life.
What is your current happiness most dependent on?
I think currently, my happiness is most dependent on the state of my self-sacrifice. If I am drained or feel like my energy is not being reciprocated, I find myself to be a less happy, more resentful version of myself. I hate resentment – it’s my least favorite emotion.
What do you wish you were less reliant on?
My phone!!!!!!!!
Building this TLD HER community has been awesome, but if I am not on my phone for multiple hours a day – in my DMs, in the comment section, posting, etc. – I feel behind.
When do you question yourself?
Never. I used to question myself when I was around my family because they outwardly questioned many of my decisions, but the older I get, the more evidence I have that my intuition is strong and always correct. I have never made a bad decision for myself; thus, I fully trust myself to do what is right and best for me.
What is something that has positively impacted how you perceive your self-worth?
Externally: being around the right people in business and being with the right men in relationships. I’ve been in many relationships that people would perceive as non-traditional/unconventional, but I have always chosen men who adore me. I have also always chosen to be with men who think I am brilliant, who believe in me, and who think I’m hot shit. I’ve always chosen to be in business with people who feel the same.
You attract what you believe about yourself, and who you surround yourself with matters.
Internally: getting out of my head and getting more connected to my body/heart/soul (thank you, Hoffman Process). I genuinely like myself, and I am proud of that.
What is something you have forgiven yourself for?
I forgive myself for suppressing so many emotions from childhood and into early adulthood. I didn’t cry for seven years, even when I needed to. I was hyper-focused on being tough, but I really abandoned myself in the process. When I finally opened the floodgates, it was not pretty, but it was raw and real, and it was who I needed to be at that moment.
What is something you have forgiven someone else for?
I forgive everyone, but I forget nothing (did I mention I’m a Scorpio stellium?!). I don’t harbor ill will toward anyone or hold grudges necessarily, but I can’t unsee what people are capable of.
How do you ground/center yourself?
I LOVE me some meditation. I have been meditating for the better half of 15 years, and there is nothing that has helped me more than sitting in silence with myself. I find great wisdom in quieting the outside noise and listening to what I really have to say or feel.
What is one thing that helped you through your most difficult time?
Talking to myself. I talk to myself all. day. long. I am my greatest resource and asking myself questions always provides an answer.
I also have always done this thing (usually in the shower) where I ask myself questions about a situation I am in as if it’s already happened. For example, “How did you overcome XYZ?” or “What was the greatest lesson you learned from XYZ time in your life?”. I ask and answer the questions like I’m being interviewed about my life experience. Speaking in the past tense has helped me not only to separate myself from the situation at hand but also to better understand how I am going to move forward. Sometimes I am surprised by my own answers.
Have you ever felt like the best version of yourself? When?
I feel like the best version of myself after a workout or after a client call.
Both provide opportunities for me to just be me by getting out of my own head and working through some shit physically, mentally, and emotionally.
What is something you fundamentally disagree with?
I fundamentally disagree with people telling others how to live their lives.
I fundamentally disagree with anything that threatens women’s health, safety, and well-being (unfortunately, that’s a long list).
I fundamentally disagree with the idea that there is only one way of doing anything.
What is something you know for sure?
That time is always moving forward, and therefore, so are we.
What are three of your non-negotiables in romantic relationships?
Honesty.
Independence.
Mutual respect.
Adding a fourth: Laughter/Sense of humor.
Life can be serious, difficult, and dark at times - your partner is either going to make it feel more serious, more difficult, and darker, or they’re going to help you see the light and let you be warmed by it. That’s what I am most cognizant of in relationships: is this person making my life easier and adding to it? Or are they making things more difficult? I have no time for the latter.
When do you feel most comfortable in your own skin?
At 31 years old, I feel very comfortable in my skin 99% of the time.
This results from a decade of conscious re-programming, affirmations, self-acceptance, following my intuition, etc. It didn’t happen overnight, and self-doubt creeps back in occasionally if I allow it to (the 1%).
Have you ever been in awe of something/someone? When?
I am pretty in awe of the fact that we can look up and see the moon, stars, and planets. I am taken aback by every sunrise and every sunset I’ve ever seen; it never gets old and I don’t think it ever will.
What is the best (physical/material) gift you have ever received?
Any piece of jewelry my great-grandmother, grandmother, or mother has passed down. Jewelry is the one thing I’m sentimental about, I think because it’s a wearable legacy.
What is one thing you wish you had said ‘yes’ to in the past?
I wish I said ‘yes’ to a potential long-distance relationship with someone I felt very connected to in my mid-twenties. It was complicated, and I was afraid of having my life blown up by it. I don’t think it would have worked out, but the depth and connection were otherworldly and have proven to be difficult to come by again. I’ve had other great relationships since, and I truly believe that the right person at the wrong time is just the wrong person, so I know things worked out the way they were supposed to, but I wish I had been less afraid/guarded.
What is one thing you will always say ‘no’ to in the future?
Anything that goes against what my gut/intuition is telling me.
I’ve also never done drugs and don’t plan to.
What do you believe is your most attractive quality?
It's probably my ability to listen without judgment and my loyalty. I hold many secrets for many people.
What/who do you want to be when you grow up?
I want to be free.
BONUS: Tell me something good.
As I sit here and write these questions, I can’t help but think of the other hundreds of women who have now done the same. I feel so connected to you all, and I love what we are building here.
Comments