Age: 31
Relationship Status: Widow
Occupation: Union Organizer
Income: Enough to support my two young children and myself
Astrological Sign: Capricorn
What is the most important part of your daily routine?
Every morning, I hug my kids and tell them how they fill me with so much joy and make me happy. I want to make sure my kids feel loved, and their warmth makes me feel so loved - that sets me up to have a good day.
What is your current happiness most dependent on?
Myself, and whether I am okay each day. If I'm okay, I will give the best to my kids, who are the most important people in my life. On the days I don't feel okay, I allow myself to feel the loneliness and the pain in my heart after becoming a widow. I cry it out and release it all.
What do you wish you were less reliant on?
Social media and scrolling at the end of the night, it's a way to fill the absence.
When do you question yourself?
I don't really question myself. I try to look at life like I am doing the best possible thing I can do each day. I try not to let my mind go to the negative. My days are filled with so much with being a single mom, that questioning myself is just negative energy I don't need in my life.
What is something that has positively impacted how you perceive your self-worth?
My relationship with my late husband. He made me feel like I was the best woman. He would consistently compliment me on how smart I was and how he admired how I treated people. He taught me that my self-worth is who I am from within. He would say I brought calmness and peace to him and that I think is the best thing I can give myself.
What is something you have forgiven yourself for?
For wanting to die when my husband died. I would lay at night crying, thinking in my head that once my daughter was born, I would just take pills and die because I couldn't do life without him. But that was all the pain I was feeling and intense grief. I am proud of the strength I now have and how I have been able to rebuild myself.
What is something you have forgiven someone else for?
Sexually abusing me when I was 7.
How do you ground/center yourself?
I pray, I pray that GOD helps me and gives me the strength and peace to keep going.
What is one thing that helped you through your most difficult time?
Signs. Until you experience grief, you won't know the depths our loved ones go to tell us they are near. After my husband passed, there were things that I couldn't possibly reason with, and I knew they were signs that he was still close to me and our kids. I suddenly started seeing hummingbirds in my front yard. I would go to the cemetery every day for the first 3 months, and I always saw a little red bird there, and I just knew it was him. When my daughter was born, a butterfly was in the window for hours. I see signs almost daily; they have helped me feel close to him.
Have you ever felt like the best version of yourself? When?
During different parts of my adulthood, I felt like the best version of myself. In my early 20s I felt like I was at my best working out, traveling, and having a job that made me happy. In my 20s, I felt like I was also the best version of myself, being a wife and becoming a mom. Now, in my 30s, I have lived through the biggest, most painful thing in my life, and I am now seeing the light. Grief is there every day, but it doesn't feel as heavy anymore. I am rebuilding myself and this moment feels like the best version of myself. It is all about perspective.
What is something you fundamentally disagree with?
Sexual abuse.
What is something you know for sure?
God doesn't give you more than what you can handle.
What are three of your non-negotiables in romantic relationships?
Respect
Mutual Support
Honesty
When do you feel most comfortable in your own skin?
There is no certain time I feel the most comfortable. I feel at peace with who I am and that I value so much about myself ... so I guess I feel comfortable all the time.
Have you ever been in awe of something/someone? When?
My 5-year-old son. I am in awe of him every day. His resilience and tenderness despite what he went through at this young age. If he can be this way, so can I.
What is the best (physical/material) gift you have ever received?
A love letter from my husband. When I was moving into a new home after he passed, I found a letter he had written to me and the words on that paper were exactly what I needed to hear at that moment .... yet again, another sign. Not the biggest diamond ring can make me feel like that letter did; even without him physically here, I felt loved and assured of what I was doing.
What is one thing you wish you had said ‘yes’ to in the past?
More spontaneous trips.
What is one thing you will always say ‘no’ to in the future?
Relationships that don't bring peace and happiness to me and my children.
What do you believe is your most attractive quality?
My heart. How I genuinely treat people.
What/who do you want to be when you grow up?
The best mom who teaches her children how to love unconditionally, who teaches them how to treat others with kindness, who leaves this world a bit better.
BONUS: Tell me something good.
If you have experienced grief and it feels heavy, lean into it because I promise that the rock you carry in your pocket gets lighter. With whatever you are dealing with, give yourself grace. We live in a world with so much pressure and expectations, and sometimes, all we need is two minutes to slow down and breathe.
Comments