#307. heartbreak, learning a new language & salted potato chips

Age: 28

Relationship Status: Single

Occupation: Psychologist

Astrological Sign: Scorpio sun, Gemini Moon & Taurus rising

How are you, really?

I am currently healing from a cold, so health-wise, I'm not that great, but overall, I am having more good days than bad as I go through my healing journey and create a new life for myself. Grateful all around.

What is the greatest change you’ve made this year?

Taking on daily meditation, journaling, and prayer. It’s really helped me center and reconnect with myself, especially as I work through my healing journey.

What is something you hope never changes?

The love, connection and support within my family.

When do you feel most capable?

When I’m feeling calm centered, have an action plan and do the things I promised myself I would do; no matter how small.

After a big win that creates positive momentum.

When I know that all things are working for my good even when I don’t see it at the time

How do you nurture yourself?

Self-care before bed - I take this very seriously and give myself undivided care and whatever else I may have need that day. Talking things out with a loved one, journaling or watching something good.

How do you nurture others?

Being present & active listening when they speak and always sharing words of kindness and affirmations to those I interact with (my thought process is what does this person need from me and how can I be a light to them in this moment).

I enjoy asking people who I care about what they need and showing up for them.

Is there anything you wish you had said but didn’t?

I don’t have this wish because I have learnt to always speak my truth even when it’s hard. I always make sure the people I care about know that and even when things end, I make sure to speak my truth so I do not second guess myself or wish for something different.

What is something that turns you on?

Deep conversation that could play out as foreplay - emotional openness and someone who takes control (in a good way) and is in their authentic masculine energy. Also, a really nice cologne.

What is something that turns you off?

Dirty and unclean people and spaces and aggressive entitlement to my body or the situation.

When was the last time you walked away from something that no longer served you?

The hope for my last relationship. I think even when one person wishes to end things, one has to make the decision to also walk away from the hope - from the dream future and from all that you shared. Also, people who never filled my cup and I kept filling theirs. I am seeking people who pour into me as I pour into them.

How often do you feel you achieve balance?

It’s been consistent this year. I do all that empowers me and energizes me, and when I fall off. I give myself grace and compassion and get back to it because I know that I deserve to feel good about myself, always!

What is one risk you took that resulted in reward?

I moved countries, left my job, and went through heartbreak. I have now learnt a new language, which at first felt intimidating, but I now enjoy diving deeper into the language. I have learnt that my job does not define me, and I have created my own worth from within. Through heartbreak, I have found a new version of myself that I absolutely love, appreciate and cherish.

When do you feel most overwhelmed?

When I have a long to do list and feel like I do not have much time to do said things. Sometimes, when I look into the future and I don’t know what is to come.

How do you move forward?

I meditate, pray & journal. Reminding myself of all the great things that have happened in my life. I have gone through moments of uncertainty before and this time I choose to go through it with joy and intentionality instead of overwhelm because the time will go anyway might as well be at peace/happy as it does.

What is something that will always make you laugh?

Rewatching the series, Mom. It's such an honest, funny take on healing and recreating one’s life. That and my family.

What is something that will always make you cry?

A well-done rom-com movie or something else that shows true, genuine human connection.

Have you ever been betrayed?

Yes, when my ex ended things. It came out of nowhere, but now that I have had time to reflect, the signs were there. I’m still in the phase of anger, but I know that this will pass; it’s part of the process. I embrace it, and it’s my brain’s way of taking back control of a situation that I did not have control over (the brain is funny like that).

What is your greatest temptation?

Salted potato chips.

What is one thing you feel is missing from your current life?

Deep friendship. Since moving to a new country, I have had to mourn the change of my old friendships, and I am looking forward to strengthening my current long-distance friendships and finding and building new, deep friendships.

What is one thing you can’t get enough of?

Learning. I know it sounds cheesy, but I really love learning and being in a learning environment. And it was after this realization that I made the decision to pursue education as a career path.

BONUS: Tell me something good.

I really love and appreciate my family. I am so glad that I have been able to see their value sooner rather than later.

I am really happy I did this, I have been aiming at being more open to the world and helping more.